Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize