Kiss
Puke
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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