So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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