I'm drive I can fine osifer
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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