Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
well you can't waste a boner
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can I color on your dick again?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
