my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
