Don't you send me to vm
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
