i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize