Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
