You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize