I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
