Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
