Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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