Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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