I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
