I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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