He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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