High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
