im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize