He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
