Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches