You can't special order awesome
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again