you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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