woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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