I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
