Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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