I cannot find my penis.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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