i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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