It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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