out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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