Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
