Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
