I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
