dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
