forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
