Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
