I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
