I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
