If that was your dad, he is hot
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
