you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
