Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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