Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
40s are totally the cure
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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