Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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