Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
