I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
