there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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