I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize