Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
