So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
