I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize