Need sex. Gaining weight.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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