Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
