You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
