it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
