Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My breasts were aching with rage.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
