So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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